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  • The Modern Domestic Woman

Simple strategies to cope with fear during the COVID-19 outbreak

by Elizabeth Rago


I feel the fear and uncertainty of what's going on in the world in terms of panic in response to COVID-19 and it’s derailing me. I have a hard enough time keeping my shit together when we’re not on lockdown from a global virus, but the minute-by-minute updates of how many people are being diagnosed with Coronavirus and drowning in what-ifs and people ranting about toilet paper is dizzying.


To maintain my peace, I must have boundaries. I need to step away from the overwhelming need to check and see how the world is doing, as that leads to a catastrophized spiral of doom and panic.


I texted my therapist, the amazing Lauren Mollica, for a little insight on dialing down my anxiety and how I can be proactive in protecting myself from spiraling into a mess of stress and flailing emotions.


#1 - "Stress lowers the immune system. When you’re in fight or flight mode you can’t fight off illness as well as you could if you were calm," explains Lauren.


HOW TO COPE:

Both Lauren and my friend and therapist, Michelle Salerno, recommend grounding skills.


“If you find yourself going down the anxiety rabbit hole and all your regular strategies are not working, tap into your five senses,” Michelle said of the 5-4-3-2-1 technique.


The grounding activity starts with a deep inhale and an even longer exhale. Next, scan your environment. Look for five things you can see and say them out loud. Now, how does your body feel? Think of four things you can physically identify and say them out loud. For example, the sun is shining on my skin and it feels warm, or, my socks are tight on my feet.


Next, listen for three things you can hear around you. This could be the sound of people talking around you, the hum of your laptop, or a car muffler rumbling by outside. Now, say two things you can smell. Finally, say one thing you can taste.


“If you say these observations out loud, you cut off the running of your anxious mind,” says Michelle said. “Your thought process shifts and, hopefully, gets you passed that negative spiral.”


#2 - Feeling unsafe? Identify what makes you feel secure.


HOW TO COPE:

"If that’s snuggling in a blanket at home - perfect!" says Lauren.


Take time to identify what or who brings you stability and comfort. Text, or better yet, call or Facetime a friend who will bring you laughter and peace for a bit. Snuggle with a pet, groom your houseplants, make a meal from scratch (chopping vegetables does wonders to stabilize your mood!), do yoga in your living room, or turn up some music and have a dance party.

Not in the mood to move? Tap into a conversation (like prayer) with a higher power that you deem as a comforter. Envision leaning on that being, releasing the responsibility of what you can't control to God, and then breathe and breathe and breathe.


#3 - Stay away from social media for now.


HOW TO COPE:

If watching the news or scrolling through feeds of endless updates about toilet paper hoarding gets your chest tightening - limit your time online. Find a source of info that will keep you informed, but not send you into unnecessary panic.


Here are some sound sources that have "skin in the game" and bear actual responsibility for the information they distribute:


World Health Organization (WHO)

American Medical Association (AMA)

Center for Disease Control (CDC)


If you must go social, follow WHO, AMA, and CDC organizations on LinkedIn, read the update and avoid reading the comments.


I've found National Public Radio (NPR) to relay worldwide information combined with interesting cultural, scientific, business, and political programming.


Jessica Yellin at #NewsNotNoise is also known for her approach to providing information:


"We think the news should give you information, not a panic attack. Too often the news feeds you outrage, opinion, and jargon leaving you more anxious than informed. We started #NewsNotNoise to provide substantive, smart, succinct information on the top stories in the national conversation grounded in facts and drawing on the knowledge of experts not pundits.
We separate the news from the noise, so you know which stories really matter and which you can ignore. Our super-engaged community asks and answers each other’s questions, without going on the attack.
Our goal: to give you a greater sense of understanding and the confidence to engage on the big issues."

A recent poem from Lynn Ungar called Pandemic is worth a read and reflection:


Pandemic

What if you thought of it as the Jews consider the Sabbath— the most sacred of times?

Cease from travel. Cease from buying and selling. Give up, just for now, on trying to make the world different than it is. Sing. Pray. Touch only those to whom you commit your life. Center down.


And when your body has become still, reach out with your heart. Know that we are connected in ways that are terrifying and beautiful. (You could hardly deny it now.) Know that our lives are in one another’s hands. (Surely, that has come clear.) Do not reach out your hands. Reach out your heart. Reach out your words. Reach out all the tendrils of compassion that move, invisibly, where we cannot touch.


Promise this world your love-- for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, so long as we all shall live.


Lynn Ungar



This too shall pass. How do you choose to channel peace amid the chaos?


- Elizabeth



About the author: Elizabeth Rago is a mama, wife, and the creator of The Modern Domestic Woman (MDW). Starting with silly beginnings writing about home decor and DIY projects, Elizabeth found MDW to be a happy distraction from her stressful life.


After a series of unfortunate events including job loss, a car accident, bankruptcy, and a physical and emotional breakdown, Elizabeth felt compelled to shift the primary focus of MDW from pretty pictures and goofy memes to a space of honest support for the modern woman. Learn more about Elizabeth at MDWcares.com