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Underwear: The bigger, the better

I've never resonated with a celebrity more until Drew Barrymore said, "Underwear: the bigger, the better" on her show.

It had me reminiscing about an article I wrote in 2017 in which I wrestled with my own comfort and the expectations of the fashion gods who for years had women hand-cuffed to underwire and g-strings.

I hope you enjoy this funny little rant...

I love getting dressed up. I enjoy the hunt for an outfit, mostly at local consignment shops, and selecting an item that really makes me squeal. My style likes to show a little leg, so I stick with A-line skirts as those compliment my hippy-er figure.

I happily wear makeup to enhance my natural beauty, apply a little essential oil in place of perfume, and slip on heels when the event calls for a change in elevation.

There is one particular area, however, where I do not have a passion and that is the subject of undergarments.

After a rather humorous conversation with two of my best girlfriends over dinner, I concluded that there are two kinds of women: fancy-schmancy sexy panty ladies and cozy cotton, no-frills Hanes girls.

I am the latter.

Now before you judge, I’ve lived on both sides of the lingerie fence. I used to be the fancy-schmancy sexy panty lady in college and most of my 30s, but once I really started to feel comfortable in my own spirit, I became the Albert Einstein of knickers. Remember Al, who like several geniuses in history decided not to expel any unnecessary energy on their clothing so they chose to wear the same outfits over and over and over again?

I still have those scantly-clad pieces in my dresser, so old that they are practically disintegrating. But I crave simplicity now. I need no nonsense. Lingerie seriously makes me feel like I am being held hostage. I’m just a simple girl and feel exhilarated by the freedom a cozy pair of undies gives me to scoot about my day, unrestricted, footloose and fancy-free!

LM Montgomery wrote,

“There is no such thing as freedom on earth, only different kinds of bondages. And comparative bondages. YOU think you are free now because you’ve escaped from a peculiarly unbreakable kind of bondage. But are you? You love me - THAT’S a bondage.”

Breaking free from the bondage of my unmentionables was one of the most liberating things I have done in my life. I’ve noticed that my writing is more raw and honest when I’m sporting cotton instead of butt floss, and my heart seems a bit more in synch with how I’m really feeling, instead of focusing on the constant distraction of squirming in my skin. Instead, I’m happily bound to the things in my life that demand attention.

And I know there are others like me in the world because – HANES. This comfy brand tells the tale of my undergarment longings in its ads and had me intrigued years ago by Miss Jennifer Love-Hewitt. Frustrated by the underwear provided at a glamorous photo shoot, Hewitt retreats to her purse to find her Hanes, and then life is grand and comfortable. And, can you believe it, Hewitt is still a beautiful sexy woman?! (And no, I do not work for Hanes.)

I often feel like I was born in the wrong era, as my heart seems drawn to slow living and simple things like wanting chickens in my backyard and reading books with pages. So it’s only natural that I connect with the ladies that don the underwear in Hanes ads instead of the winged creatures strutting the Victoria’s Secret catwalk.

Being productive and creative in my life calls for the flexibility to think clearly without distraction. And in a world of so many distractions, I can’t bother to omit any extra energy on my briefs.

Any no-frills, Hanes girls out there who celebrate no-nonsense? Speak up so I know I’m not alone…


About the Author:

Elizabeth Rago is a mama, wife, and the creator of The Modern Domestic Woman (MDW).

Starting with silly beginnings writing about home decor and DIY projects, Elizabeth found MDW to be a happy distraction from her stressful life.

After a series of unfortunate events including job loss, a car accident, bankruptcy, and a physical and emotional breakdown, Elizabeth felt compelled to shift the primary focus of MDW from pretty pictures and goofy memes to a space of honest support for the modern woman.

Learn more about Elizabeth at


A version of this article was originally featured on Shaw Local in 2017.


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