A Trauma Therapist on Surviving Collective Fear & the Courage to Act

Ever since Monday, September 17th, when governmental forces came to my neighborhood to terrorize my neighbors, I’ve been in a whirlwind of emotions and overwhelm. Initially, I froze. I had no way to know what to do or how to respond.

While I know my white skin protects me, the fear and overwhelm came for me anyway.

Denial too. 

They can’t be here long, right? Why would they target us in the “safe” suburbs?

And then I imagined how my Hispanic neighbors were feeling. I know if I were feeling this way, I could only imagine the utter terror they were experiencing. 

My kids’ schools followed “Safe and Secure” protocols. The first of its kind they’ve ever experienced. Elementary kids couldn’t go out for recess on a perfectly comfortable weather day, for several days these past weeks, with little kids being shuffled quickly onto buses after school. They didn’t tell the kids why.

A Latino dad showed up at the school parent pickup in his Army uniform to pick up his kindergartener. I cried seeing him.

I knew why he wore that uniform to parent pick up. 

But I knew. Wearing his US military uniform to school pick up was his best strategy to keep himself and his child safe that day.

When Everyday Life Stops Making Sense

My mind has been whirling these past few weeks:

How does anyone know what to do?

How to get through this?

How to go to work, how to parent your children, how to do anything considered “normal” anymore? 

Where do I help? Where do I start?

What can I even do that would make a difference? 

When government-sanctioned terror comes to your neighborhood, your gym, your workplace, or your child’s school, no one is ready for how it feels, much less what to do about it. Reading The Diary of Anne Frank does not prepare you for this happening in our communities. 

So, as a trauma therapist, I want to start by normalizing our human responses here. 

What Happens Inside Our Bodies

Fear is an absolutely normal human response. 

Panic is a normal human response. 

Overwhelm and collapse are normal human responses.

Helplessness is a normal human feeling. 

Rage is a normal human feeling. 

Depression and hopelessness are normal human experiences.

So even if these are normal responses in the face of a dangerous crisis, the question that is on everyone's minds is: 

“What do we do”? 

I think we need to back up a bit before answering it.

To begin to answer this question, I think a lot depends on who “we” are. “We” are not targeted equally in the eyes of the powerful, so the answers must be different to the question of “what do we do?”

For Folks of Color: Survival Is the Goal

I have different suggestions for you than for us White people who are not currently targeted by our government.

As a White person, I can only offer suggestions from my expertise as a trauma therapist, not as someone whose culture and very life are being targeted. But I will try my best to explain how all humans survive, and to give some nervous system perspectives and emotionally regulating suggestions to help you survive this terrifying time as best as you can.

First: let yourself notice how your body reacts to danger. 

Freeze, fight, flight, overwhelm, and collapse are NORMAL human responses to dangerous threats. 

And make no mistake: these are dangerous, threatening times. Your nervous system is reacting normally if you find yourself in any combination of these responses. 

These nervous system responses are here to help you survive. You need them. 

Here are some examples: 

Even noticing that you feel “nothing” is not something to judge yourself about. It’s a freeze response. Humans freeze when we cannot flee or fight. Feeling frozen while mechanically going about your day, feeding your children, or making small talk at work, is to be expected. Feeling “not like yourself” is normal. 

Crying at the drop of a hat? Normal. 

Tears are a normal physical response to overwhelm. Let the tears flow, as you can. 

Major irritability and anger overflowing from the smallest inconvenience or rage at privileged White people who really don’t get it? Yeah. Normal. Fight response. 

Finding yourself being “extra nice” to people at work, like your boss, or at the grocery store? Fawn response. 

These nervous system reactions are barely qualified as a “conscious choice” when the body is under imminent threat. Do not judge yourself harshly if you are finding yourself to be increasingly emotionally reactive (or non-reactive). These responses are your body trying to survive. 

Survival is the only goal of the nervous system. But staying in sustained Fight/Flight/Freeze is very, very taxing on the body, often bringing physical or new mental health symptoms with it. 

So, where do you start trying to emotionally regulate yourself when everything feels overwhelming and is unsafe?

Physical needs first and foremost: Feed yourself even if you don’t feel hungry. Sleep when you feel tired, as much as you can. Find safe touch, if you can. Get extra long hugs or snuggles with your loved ones. These physical, here-and-now tasks let your body know that in this moment, you are safe. 

Social needs/community second: Find your people. Be with them. Ask for help, even if you never have before, or if you struggle to do so. This is the time. 

Talk with your safe people about the imminent danger (or don’t!). Either way, your nervous system will signal “safety” when you’re hanging around your safe people. Even chatting on Zoom or FaceTime, this counts as emotional regulation, signaling safety to your body. 

Cook together, eat good food, sing and dance with your loved ones, and do stupid stuff that doesn’t matter. Laugh, goof around. This is powerful resistance, too. Laughter and joy will help you survive another day. 

Emotional expression comes third: Then, if you can, add expression to your routine: sing, dance, laugh, keep things as “normal” as possible in your family’s routine. It helps your body know that in this moment, you are safe. If your thoughts start racing (flight response!), write them down. Burn them. Express them out loud, or in a journal. Whatever feels safest to you. 

Overall: do not expect yourself to do ANYTHING “extra” right now. This is not the time to go above and beyond your human capacity. Survival is the goal. 

Your ancestors survived with tremendous resiliency, and you will, too. If you feel safest by hiding out at home as often as you can, don’t feel any guilt about this. As we trauma therapists say to our clients, when it comes to survival choices, “bodies come first”.  And every nervous system is different, and experiences a felt sense of safety differently, so listen closely to yours. 

Do whatever you need to do to survive. 

For White Folks: If You Are Safe Enough to Fight

I challenge us to notice our own fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses as well. And check in with ourselves with an initial question:

Am I or my family actually unsafe, or in any imminent* danger from the government? 

(*note, not dangers that COULD happen, but what is actually happening right now)

Here’s the thing: human bodies can identify threats from perfectly safe sources (our minds are powerful). I have felt these nervous system threats as well, knowing perfectly well that I am in no imminent danger. But fellow Whites:

Right now, RIGHT NOW, it’s our primary task to identify accurately where our current threats to our safety are.

And if you conclude that you are not under imminent threat, then you are SAFE ENOUGH TO FIGHT.  

Hiding, ignoring the news, freezing, or fleeing because we feel overwhelmed is absolutely unacceptable in the face of such injustice. Because we have been given the opportunity to act, to show the content of our character. To do the decent human thing and protect those at the most risk. 

I know as a White woman I’ve been conditioned to cry for help and collapse when I’m scared. Government, police, strong man, please come save me. I’m not too embarrassed to admit that it’s pretty easy for me to do. Someone ought to protect me if I’m afraid. 

In my Whiteness, I haven’t needed to protect myself from the government before, much less feel the urge to protect others. 

I have not been conditioned to FIGHT for the protection of the vulnerable. So this is new for me, too. 

But in believing we are too afraid or weak to do anything, we White women have victimized ourselves without any justifiable, real active threat. And if we are too frozen with fear, we abandon our neighbors who are actually in real danger. We abandon our role as protectors of the vulnerable. We abandon our voices and protect our perfectly safe bodies when our neighbors are being terrorized. 

As we can, within our own human capacity, as we notice our lack of danger, I am calling upon us to act. 

In fact, we will need at least ONE solid nervous system response for this role: FIGHT. 

There is a real, active threat to our communities. Fight is the safest response for our White bodies to embody, in comparison to our targeted neighbors. We understand that our neighbors are in grave danger if their black and brown bodies react with the Fight response first. 

How to Fight Within Your Capacity 

Be willing to show up where others are fighting in your neighborhood. Fight with your voice (do you talk about this with friends/family/coworkers? If you don’t, then start.)

Fight with your presence at protests. Fight with cooked meals, with our volunteering to walk targeted children home from school, and with our phone calls to our elected officials. 

White people: do not let overwhelm overtake you when you are perfectly safe. 

We must not collapse, flee, fawn, or freeze. 

We must fight. 

• Maybe you never before considered yourself to be a fighter. 

• Maybe you never thought your voice could be a protective one. 

• Maybe you are too afraid of “doing it wrong” and causing more harm, so you’re frozen in fear.

• Maybe you have crippling social anxiety, and talking to strangers makes you feel like you want to crawl out of your own skin. 

• Maybe you feel so scared and immobilized that you just doomscroll yourself into a panic attack every night, reacting to all imaginable scenarios that could happen to you.

These are all understandable experiences that White people feel. But ask yourself: who benefits from your frozen helplessness? Only one group:

The Powerful in Charge. 

Those stories of powerlessness only benefit the powerful in charge. These narratives are AWFULLY CONVENIENT to the powerful in charge. These stories of helplessness render you useless to fight, when we need you, fellow White person, to FIGHT! 

So take your meds, go to therapy, and work out your barriers to fight as best you can, and remind yourself that you are indeed safer than your Brown neighbor to speak up and out. Be brave, speak your mind, even though your voice shakes, yeah? 

If you’re a burned-out caregiver, and your every minute is taken with caregiving and you’re living on the edge of burnout every day, remember that you are doing the best you can as you give of yourself to care for others. Let your justice and activism look like compassion and consistency with those you care for every day. Fighting can look like consistent compassion for those in need around you.

Listed below are some ways for us privileged people to fight: 

If you see ICE in your neighborhood, get out your phone and record: honk your horn and be obnoxiously loud to alert your neighbors. 

Be brave, because remember, you are safe, you are not at risk. And if you are harmed, consider it the best use of your privilege. You can be assured that you will be treated with far more justice than a person of color will. 

If you’re an able-bodied white person, here are some tangible ways to fight: 

• Call your congressperson and demand justice and due process for our neighbors

• Arrange SNAIL MAIL letter writing parties to your elected officials 

• Go to as many protests as you can. Here's a helpful guide for protesting.

• Regularly walk around your neighborhood and downtown areas, ready to record anything suspicious and post it online

• Join a local People’s Patrol or Rapid Response Team

If you’re not able-bodied, you can fight in these ways:

• Talk about it with your fellow White people. Don’t stay silent. 

• If you’re on social media, share what’s happening from reputable sources. Share your anger. 

  • Reuters – global, fact-focused, minimal editorializing

  • BBC News (UK) – publicly funded, slightly Western-centric but balanced

  • ProPublica – nonprofit investigative journalism

• Donate to organizations on the ground protecting these vulnerable communities

• Find out what is happening in your neighborhoods and be as noisy as possible. Local mutual aid groups, neighborhood Facebook groups, Nextdoor, or local forums often share alerts or calls for volunteers. Fight as hard as your body and capacity can tolerate. Don’t overdo it to be a savior or beyond your human capacity. Know when to stop fighting and live to fight another day.

If you can’t do all of these, choose one of these things. But do that one act of resistance every day or every week. This needs to be routine for us to fight effectively. 

Reclaiming Our Humanity

Lastly, let us all collectively acknowledge that while this is not normal, it has been far too normal for people of color to feel afraid of our government. Racist public policy has been the horrific American legacy that now threatens to take everyone’s freedoms, not just those of people of color. 

But in 2025, if we get angry enough, if we fight effectively enough, we White people might just get it right this time. 

Our children need to watch us fight this racist hate and terror so this never, ever happens again. 

Pace yourself; your body only experiences the here and now. Go drink some water, eat a snack. Notice how reading this article affects your body, even at this very moment. You may notice flight, freeze, fight responses from these words. Respond to your body with compassion and acknowledge the truth of your inner experience. This awareness is where you start. 

You’re not alone; it's time to join others in the fight. 

To those most at risk: your existence is resistance. Rest when you can, rage when you must, and trust that others are rising beside you.

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About the Author:

Priscilla Dean, LCPC

Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor

Evergreen Counseling, Wheaton, IL

Priscilla Dean is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Transforming Touch Practitioner who brings a compassionate yet courageous approach to her work with women navigating today’s complex world.

As a member of the MDW Mental Health Advisory Board, Priscilla specializes in supporting those experiencing disordered eating, including Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge-Eating Disorder, and subclinical eating concerns. She is known for challenging the narratives that keep us stuck, inviting clients and communities alike to engage with hard topics so we can learn, grow, and rewire the ways we think, feel, and live.

Her clinical work centers on collaboration, partnering with dietitians, psychiatrists, and primary care providers to ensure holistic, integrative care. She also incorporates the Enneagram into her therapeutic practice, helping clients deepen self-awareness, rediscover connection, and cultivate meaningful, lasting change.

Learn more about Priscilla and her practice at evergreencounseling.co