Word of the Week: Elegy

Definition: A poem or song of mourning.

This week’s word arrived in the middle of a heartbreak I knew was coming but didn't prepare for.

Today, we had to say goodbye to our beloved family dog, Cooper, a sweet, loyal presence woven into the rhythm of our home. And when the time came, we knew. My husband and I looked at each other with sadness in our eyes, knowing what we would have to do next.

Some people may not understand the depth of losing a pet, but anyone who has loved an animal knows: their sweet, simple hearts hold a kind of magic.

They love you without conditions. They sit with you when words fail. They sense overwhelm before you can name it, offering their steady presence as a form of co-regulation. They bring laughter into heavy seasons and comfort into chaotic ones.

Our pets witness our everyday lives. The triumphs, the meltdowns, the boredom, the joy, and meet all of it with devotion. Mourning them is real because the love was real, and honoring that love is its own kind of elegy.

So, I canceled what I could. I let emails wait. I crawled into bed with my kids, wrapped us all in blankets, and we just felt it. The sobbing, the silence, the remembering, the anger, and the warmth of being close as a crew.

I feel like that pause, that intentional slowing, became our elegy: a living, breathing expression of mourning. Not a poem or a song, but a moment carved out in our tears to honor the love we lost.

We are all grieving something. Some of us are mourning:

• A friendship that faded

• A version of our bodies we no longer recognize

• A season of life that closed without warning

• A dream we outgrew

• A relationship with a parent that never quite became what we hoped

• A child growing up, changing, needing us in new ways

• A partner we love but feel distant from

• The “old us” we didn’t realize we were losing
  

Mourning is not reserved for death. It's an everyday human experience. It's the cost of loving, growing, and changing.

How to Let Yourself Grieve (Instead of Pushing It Away)

Make room. Grief needs space. Five minutes in your car. A walk. A shower cry. A journal page. A moment under a blanket with a loved one.

Name it. Say, “I’m grieving this.” Naming it softens resistance and opens the door to healing.

Let your body speak. Tears, heavy limbs, quietness, restlessness. Your body knows what release looks like. Let it move through.

Tell someone the story. A memory shared becomes lighter. It becomes part of your elegy.

Choose one small comfort. Tea, a warm bath, your favorite sweatshirt, a soft light on the nightstand. Rituals anchor us when emotions feel too big.

Positive Self-Talk for a Grieving Week

"It’s okay to be heartbroken. This is what love looks like when it hurts.”

"I don’t have to rush my healing.”

"My grief is valid, even if someone else doesn’t understand it.”

“I can take this one moment at a time.”

“I honor what I lost by letting myself feel.”

No matter what you’re mourning, it’s okay if some days you want to run from the grief. Sometimes we simply don’t have the capacity to sit with the ache, and that doesn’t mean we’re avoiding healing; it means we’re human. On the days when you can face it, even for a moment, let yourself pause and feel what’s true. Let the tears come, or the quiet, or the anger, or the remembering.

Grief moves in waves, and meeting it gently, whenever you’re able, is more than enough.

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Elizabeth Rago is a storyteller, media strategist, and community builder who’s equally at home writing compelling content or navigating teenage chaos with tea in hand.

A seasoned writer with 20+ years of experience across industries from mental health and design to insurance and advocacy, she’s also the founder of MDW (The Modern Domestic Woman), a no-fluff resource hub for women in transition.

Whether she’s ghostwriting for execs or spotlighting small-town gems, Elizabeth brings heart, humor, and a fierce belief in the power of connection.

Learn more at MDWcares.com or find her on Instagram and LinkedIn.