Word of the Week: Sonder

There’s a moment—often small and quiet—when you realize the world doesn’t revolve around you. Not in a harsh way, but in a deeply human one.

That realization has a name: sonder.

Sonder is the awareness that every single person you pass by is living a life as rich, layered, and complex as your own. The stranger next to you in traffic. The person walking their dog across the street. The barista who smiled at you this morning.

They all carry stories, memories, dreams, heartbreaks, routines, and inner battles that you’ll never fully know.

Why It Matters

Sonder isn’t about comparison. It’s not about minimizing your own experiences. It’s about expanding your perspective—recognizing that we’re all moving through life with invisible weight, quiet victories, and deep wells of emotion.

It reminds us that we’re not alone in our joy or our struggle. That everyone you meet is also carrying something. And when we start to see the world through that lens, it becomes harder to judge and easier to extend compassion.

How to Live with Sonder

1. Pause Before You React - That person who cut you off? Maybe they’re late to visit someone in the hospital. That co-worker who snapped at you? Maybe they’re overwhelmed at home. You don’t have to excuse harmful behavior—but sonder helps you approach it with understanding.
   

2. Look People in the Eye - Even brief moments of connection—eye contact, a kind word, a simple acknowledgment—can affirm someone’s humanity. It doesn’t take much to say “I see you.”
   

3. Let It Soften You - Sonder asks us to slow down and remember that everyone is going through something. You don’t need all the details to extend grace.
   

4. Turn It Inward, Too - Just as others are carrying invisible stories—you are, too. Give yourself the same compassion and patience you’d offer a stranger.
   

A Gentle Reminder

Sonder doesn’t ask us to fix or solve anything—it just asks us to notice. To carry a little more awareness as we move through the day. To offer kindness more freely. To soften our assumptions.

You never know what someone else is carrying. And chances are, they have no idea what you’re holding, either.

This week, let sonder be a gentle nudge to slow down, connect where you can, and hold space—for yourself and for others.

Because behind every face is a story. And that alone is worth honoring.

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About the Author:

MDW's voice for all things mental health, therapist and LCSW, Carrie Summers, embodies inclusion and creating safe spaces for all people that is free of judgment.

Carrie is dedicated to empowering individuals like you through personalized counseling. Specializing in perinatal, relationship issues, divorce, life transitions, and narcissistic abuse recovery.

Carrie owns her practice, Noreila Healing & Wellness, in Wheaton, Illinois, and is available in-person and online for therapy.

Learn more at noreilahealing.com