The Sandwich Generation

You’re scheduling a pediatric check-up while fielding a call from your mom’s memory care facility. You’re helping with homework one minute and navigating your dad’s doctor appointment the next. You’re the steady presence everyone depends on, often without thanks, without pause, and without much time for yourself.

This role is what’s referred to as the “sandwich generation,” and it has the most impact on moms.

What Is the Sandwich Generation?

The “sandwich generation” refers to adults raising children while also supporting aging parents. According to Mental Health America, nearly 1 in 3 caregivers (29%) are living this reality. They’re in the middle, pulled in two directions, needed in multiple places, and trying to meet everyone’s needs at once.

This role isn’t just about busy schedules. It’s about emotional energy, constant coordination, and care that doesn’t really clock out.

It’s Becoming More Widespread

People are living longer, often with more complex needs. Many adults are having children later, which creates more overlap between parenting and caregiving.

Financial pressures, from housing to healthcare, are making families more interdependent. That’s why more women are finding themselves “in the middle” for longer stretches of time.

Understanding Aging Parents And Ourselves

Kelsey and four generations of her family.

Caring for an aging parent means watching changes in independence, identity, and routine. It’s holding space for grief. It’s adjusting to a relationship that is shifting in real time. And it brings up a bigger question we don’t always stop to ask: What do we actually believe about aging?

A New Perspective: The Longevity Mindset

Research shows that our beliefs about aging shape how we experience it. Positive views are linked to longer life, better mental health, and stronger resilience, while negative assumptions can lead to isolation, decline, and disconnection.

A “longevity mindset” offers a different lens, one that sees aging as a stage of growth, meaning, and continued connection.

For caregivers, that shift matters: how we talk about aging, how we support independence, and how we picture our own future all influence the experience, not just for our parents, but for ourselves too.

Supporting Kids While Holding It All Together

Your children are always looking to you. Not just for rides or routines, but for emotional cues. They notice how you respond to stress, how you handle change, and how you care for others without losing yourself. Really, you’re not just caring for two generations; you’re shaping how both understand resilience, relationships, and mental health.

“Having family meetings with your siblings, aunts, uncles, and other individuals caring for your children or elderly parent can help lighten the expectations on you. These are opportunities to voice your needs and boundaries about what can reasonably be done by your support system. When you have been neglecting yourself for too long, or you don’t have a robust support system, it is okay to get help from systems.

This could mean moving your parent to a care facility or enrolling them in adult day programs for individuals with dementia. Using these resources is not a failure on your part, it is an act of love. Love towards your parent. Love towards yourself. We can not pour from an empty cup.”

At TriCity Family Services, we support individuals and families at every stage of life - because mental health doesn’t have an age limit. Whether you’re caring for a parent, raising a child, or trying to take care of yourself somewhere in the middle, support can make it all feel more manageable and more meaningful.

You can connect with our intake coordinator to explore options like therapy, support groups, or educational workshops by calling 630-232-1070 or visiting tricityfamilyservices.org

---

An Invitation to Reflect & Learn More

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone, and there’s more to explore. On May 27, 2026, TriCity Family Services will host Room for Growth: Mental Health Has No Age Limit, featuring Dr. Regina Koepp’s keynote on “The Longevity Mindset: How What We Believe About Aging Shapes How We Age.”

This lunch-and-learn is an opportunity to step back, reflect, and rethink what aging and caregiving can look like. Tickets are $50 and include lunch at Eagle Brook Country Club in Geneva.

Full details and registration can be found at: https://R4G2026.givesmart.com